. misery .

" The stars lean down to kiss you

And I lie awake and miss you

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.

Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly

But I'll miss your arms around me

I'd send a postcard to you, dear.

Cause I wish you were here.

I'll watch the night turn light blue

But it's not the same without you

Because it takes two to whisper quietly.

The silence isn't so bad

Till I look at my hands and feel sad

Cause the spaces between my fingers

Are right where yours fit perfectly.

I'll find repose in new ways

Though I haven't slept in two days

Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.

But drenched in vanilla twilight

I'll sit on the front porch all night

Waist deep in thought because when

I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink

I'll think of you tonight

(Tonight, tonight, tonight...)

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter

And heavy wings grow lighter

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew

But I swear I won't forget you

Oh if my voice could reach back through the past

I'd whisper in your ear:

"Oh darling I wish you were here"


..
..
..

                                                                  

..
..
..
for some reason, lyfe sux rite now.
for some reason, i am a miserable creature, despite cover-ups with silly jokes and fake laughter.
for some reason, i have so much to let out here.
for some reason, i am at a loss of words at this moment.
for some reason, i can't get the above song out of my head.
for some reason, i can't seem to let anyone in.
for some reason, i go through day-to-day life like a zombie.
.
.
for some reason,
i still can't let go.....
...
..
.

 

. dusty .

nearly 4 months olredi since my last entry!

if this were a real diary,
that's what the pages would be,

dusty.

so currently i'm working at a hosp
which seems as if though it was plopped down right in the middle of the highway.

thank god for kewujudan broadband.

or not, i would probably have just given up blog-writing.

   

nways
just as i think i'm sarting to get the hang of things at work,
it's nearly time to change to a new posting again!
i dont wanna leave surgery, coz it TOTALLY ROCKS here!!

( but then, it doesnt mean that i wanna get extended, just so that i can stay longer in surgery...heh)

after this, i dont think there are any more postings that i'm gonna look forward to.
but then life must go on!
slavemanship...  oops... housemanship must be completed!
;)

like i said, surgery here is the coolest posting ever.
the specialists are cool,
the M.O's rock!

but then sadly, the same cant be said about all the H.O's
there have been many issues arising, which i dont think should actually be happening!
and from all these happenings, i discovered something.
ppl can be so damn selfish and hypocritic...

nways,
i'm of course not gonna elaborate on this,
 to avoid bad-mouthing anyone la kan.


but then...
even though this someone i had known throughout college,
and considered as a friend,
was actually the one who was the most selfish,
i just have this to say..

" see, i dont need ur OT calls la wey...
ko tanak sedekah pon, i still managed to get
my appendicectomies (assissted/performed) page filled up, okay.
so there."

and that too, thanks to some colleagues who i only just got to know, for what, a few months je?
gosh...

okla.

cukop la tuh.


myvi aku pon dh siap servis nih.
so nak balik umah.

gotta start studying for my exit viva~!!!!!!!!!!

till the next time then

tataaaaaa

new.

it's 2010!

and i'm starting the new year
with a new job,
and new surroundings,
and new life,
meeting new patients/nurses/specialists/doctors.


though it's scary,
(coz i feel as if i don't remember anything
i studied in med school just a few months back)
but,
i must say,
part of me is actually looking forward to this new challenge in life.


i never really made it a point
to make new resolutions whenever a new year comes up.
coz i know myself too well,
and know that i probably wouldnt have
set about achieving the resolutions.

but this year,
i feel like making resolutions.


1- i think it's about time that i stop waking up in the morning and thinking: 
" oh crap! why do i hav to go to the hospital??
whywhywhy did i ever choose this profession??"
instead.. it's time to be thinking:
" yes, i'm a houseman now,
the slave at the bottom of the food chain all over again!
but, enough of self-pity and complaining,
suck it up and say BRING IT ON!!" 

2- it' time to change my ways of dressing too.
hahaha.
from now on, only really really formal clothes to the hospital,
to avoid scenarios like this:

i was having nite posting
at mlake hospital,
and being me,

i wore my comfortable green sneakers to the ward.
( i so do not see the point in wearing heels when ur job is to stand around for literally the whole day! )

so i went to a makcik's bed
and started flipping through her file
while making small talk with her.
after establishing a rapport with her,
i started to examine her.
she kept looking at my feet,
and smiling to herself.
i just smiled back at her,
knowing that the topic of my shoes would certainly come into our conversation soon.
as if reading my mind,
she said  "dokter, meriah la kasot dokter! hehehe"
i just laughed and said  "ala makcik, kasot ni selesa, makcik. sebab tu saya pakai. lagipon skarang ni malam makcik. hehehe"

and also another time,
i was attending to a young guy.
and he suddenly asked me: "eh, korang ni dulu blaja kat overseas ke?"

i said : "a'ah la. nape eh?"
then he said "blaja kat mane?"
i said: "india. nape eh?"
then he started laughing,
and said: "oooo.. patot le... aku tengok ko ni pakai seluar kaler pink. kawan ko kat situ pulak pakai seluar warna ungu! "
(sigh.. i just dunno why colourful clothing is such a big deal..)


3- another thing i am gonna try to do is
actually use the name that was given to me,
instead of using FRUBETTO or FRU.
i just have gotten so used to people
calling me "weh, FRU" that
sometimes i don't even repond when people call me "wani".

so no more wearing nametags like this to the hospital:

 

well.

since resolutions are a new thing for me,

i guess 3 is enuff.

let's hope i actually do sumthing to achieve them!

and to all my friends,

OLDIBESH in our quest of becoming the slaves of the hospital!!

we can do this la, people!

( i hope i can!)

lastly,

may this year be more prodcutive and fruitful than the last.

bubbye dearest blog..

(seeing as to my extreme busy-ness after this,

i do not know when i will be able to post anything after this!)

;)